I have been wrestling with my feelings lately..I must have an extremly long and painful bout of PMS or something...I have been a grouch and a half to my family.. feeling grouchy toward myself as well..
1. I have a extreme case of the terrible 2's going on..hitting, scratching and screaming seem to happen at hourly intervals around here this last week. Time out has become a popular place to visit..then make up hugs and "i"m sorries" from one moody two year old, only to happen all to soon a little while later. Noone knows what will set him off.. I for one am tired of this and ready for this phase to be over with!
2. Teenage attitude..need I say more?
3. 9 year old attitude.. I am so tired of arguing about nothing...
4. My husband is great..don't get me wrong.. But i am tired of his lateness and complete lack of urgency!
5. CANCER-can't seem to get it off my mind.. everytime I turn around i hear about someone else that "has cancer".. seriously? What the hell is going on here? This sounds really ridiculous but I am scared to death, scared of cancer, getting it, dealing with it. I hate that my mom is going thru this.
Today I reached my breaking point for no apparent reason.. I was being extra bitchy to my family and realized I just needed to go run.. And run I did. I took the back loop, about 4.5 miles around Red Mountain.. I started out walking and the more I thought about cancer, the faster I walked, then jogged..by the time I reached the very back of the neighborhood I was at an all out sprint. I ran, cried, sweated so hard-screaming and crying, looking like a crazy person. Tears streaming down my face, until I had to stop because, although I don't have asthma, I felt like i was having an asthma attack. I couldn't catch my breath so I stood there and sobbed like a baby for a few minutes.. I jogged, then walked back home feeling completely loose.. I had so much pent up anger/fear inside of me that I had to let it out..
I guess I need to do this more often because I feel 10 pounds lighter.. if only that were the case..lol
Monday, March 15, 2010
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2 comments:
Sometime you just gotta let it out! I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. I hope you have some better days in the VERY NEAR future! Thinking of you! :)
I am so sorry to hear about your mom and I hope that you have some fabulous days come your way soon!
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