I am coming on 12 weeks since my mom has been gone..
Some days I feel ok..others, others I just don't want to get out of bed.
There are just feelings you never know exist until you are faced with them.
Grief.. grief is horrible....
Everytime I think of my mom, and realize she is gone, I get this panic feeling in my chest,
the feeling of losing something significant,
the feeling that nothing will ever be the same,
the loss of security,
the feeling that it will most likely be a very long time until you see this person again.
The feeling of sadness is so overwhelming sometimes.
It is truly my kids that keep me going. I have no choice but to get out of bed, take care of my kids, try to be there for them emotionally, physically and spiritually.
All the while I am trying to take care of myself too... I am trying to accept the fact that someone intertwined with my daily life is gone..
Mom is a person that makes you feel secure, special, loved, wanted, treasured, see's your full potential...
I am really, really trying to feel better.
For my kids, for my husband, but mostly for me.
I am trying to focus on the my memories, the things my mom taught me,
the knowledge that I will see her again.
